NEW!
(09/09/03)
When Worlds Collide
“Morning”
“Morning to you too Junior.”
“Yeah, Yeah.”
“Having a bad morning?”
“No had a bad night.”
“Oh”
“I just can’t believe she’d think …me…do I act…or look like…”
“Johnny, what are we talking about?”
“I mean no one every thought that about me.”
“Who thought what about you when? I’m starting to sound like you.”
“What?”
“You still haven’t told me what happened last night.”
“I went out.”
“I figured that much out. Who got you this rattled?”
“That new nurse—the one from England-has that cool accent.”
“OH. So what happened? The old Gage charm didn’t work?”
“That would have been easier to handle. Do you know what she called me? Me? I
mean never in my life did anyone….”
“Johnny?”
“FAG! She called me a fag.”
“You’re kidding? You were wearing those plaid pants weren’t you?”
“No—HEY! There’s nothing wrong with those pants.”
“Okay, tell me exactly what happened?”
“Well, I went to one of the those new clubs. So, I see her standing at the bar.
Being a friendly guy I went over to talk to her.”
“So far so good.”
“Yeah, well. So then she points to me and says, ‘fag’. I almost fell off the
stool. I actually couldn’t talk. I just walked away.”
“Wait, wait. You couldn’t talk.”
“Roy!”
“Okay, she just pointed to you and called you a fag?”
“Yeah.”
“Johnny was she holding a cigarette.”
“Hey, how’d you know?”
“So, she pointed the at you with the cigarette, right?”
“Yeah, but how’d…”
“Johnny she was asking if you wanted a cigarette.”
“HUH?”
“Fag is British slang for cigarette.”
“OH MAN.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The Transfer
****
"I can't believe you're just walking away."
"Hey, I tried. They were just no fun."
"Yeah, but I heard this is a great station."
"Sure, if you like to sleep and be ignored."
"Now, that seems a bit gruff."
"Really, they don't pay any attention to me unless they think I'm
sick. "
"Gee, I didn't realize."
"Oh, and the worst part. I try to show them I like them, by doing
what comes naturally, and get yelled at for it."
"Hmmm, that is kinda bad. Okay, you take my old lady and I'll
take over at the station."
"Thanks Henry."
"Anytime Boot."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
"Stop moving"
"Can't help it. I don't like ...this position."
"Oh, like I do."
"We can't let them find us this way."
"We really don't have a choice."
"HEY, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE PUTTING YOUR CHIN."
"Sorry, ah, couldn't help it."
"Yeah, well . Be more careful. JoAnne wouldn't want me hurt
there."
"OHHH Man."
"Hey, I hear....they found us."
"I can hear the jokes now."
"Come on. Everybody's gonna be happy we're alright."
"Oh you are just to nice.
"Why? What could they say?"
"Man, Roy. Think about this."
"Still don't see your point."
"Okay, you asked for it."
"And..."
"Hey Gage, DeSoto here you transferred from 51's to 69's."
"NO, they wouldn't"
"And how long have you been with the fire service Pally."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I
feel Pretty
"Hey, it was a
joke. I thought the dress in his locker would
loosen him up."
"Some joke."
"Is it my fault that he's been fooling everyone all these years?"
"Yeah well, just can't get the image out of my head is all."
"None of us can."
"I swear, man, as long as I live, I'll never forget how he smiled
and danced around in that dress..."
"singing...'I feel pretty'."
"Who'd ever thought Captain Hammer was a transvestite."
"So, I hear our new captain is a Stanley."
"Let's just hope this one is normal."