Can I Ask You A Question?
by Purry & Heidi
"Uncle Johnny, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure you can, sweetheart."
"Oh goody! Everytime I *try* to ask Mommy or Daddy they take me for ice cream."
"Well, why don't you go ahead and ask. I'm not sure if I'll be able to give you
an answer or not, but let's give it a go."
"You gonna take me for ice cream?"
"That's your question?"
"Of course it's a question, silly!"
"*That's* your question?"
"Yep, I'm the one that asked it. I need to know before I can ask you my other
question."
"Okay..... Yes, Jenny, I'll take you for ice cream; any flavor you want. Now,
what's this other question you have?"
"Oh, I get ice cream and *still* get to ask my question?"
"Of course! Why *wouldn't* you get to ask me your question?"
"Whenever I'd start to ask mommy and daddy my question, they'd always seem to
take me to get ice cream and never answered my question."
"Well, kiddo, you can have ice cream *and* ask your question."
"Gee thanks! Can I have strawberry?"
"Sure!"
"Can I have a sugar cone?"
"Anything for my princess."
"Thanks, Uncle Johnny, you're the bestest."
"Now, how bout that question you wanted to ask me?"
"Maybe I could have chocolate instead of strawberry. What do you think, Uncle
Johnny?"
"Okay, chocolate it is."
"Nah, strawberry's my favorite."
"I tell ya what... Let's choose our ice cream when we get there."
"OK! What kind do you think you're gonna get? Chocolate, strawberry,
vanilla..... that's daddy's favorite. He says he can doctor it up and make it
better. He says it's like a blank canvas, whatever that's pose to mean."
"Well, I'm gonna get chocolate. Now, about that question....."
"Chocolate? But, Uncle Johnny, strawberry's your favorite, just like mine."
"Okay, I'll get strawberry then."
"I thought you wanted chocolate?!"
"Chocolate, strawberry, it doesn't matter to me. I'll get whatever you're
having."
"Ok, I'll get chocolate."
"Now that we have that all figured out, what was it that you wanted to ask me?"
"I really would like strawberry better, but I'm gonna get chocolate because you
want it."
"Well, like I said, we'll make our final decision when we get there. So, aren't
you gonna ask me that question now?"
"You know what, Uncle Johnny?"
"What?"
"I think we should get, strawberry."
"Strawberry? You're sure?"
"I'm sure!"
"Good deal! Two strawberry ice creams it is!"
"Oh, boy!"
"Before we go get our ice cream, wasn't there a question you wanted to ask me?"
"What question?"
The End
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Under Control
By Heidi B. & Purry
"Argh! I'm never going to be able to make this!"
"Calm down, Junior. Getting frustrated isn't going to help."
"Roy, look at me, I'm a mess! Not to mention the kitchen!"
"At least you're attempting to make something other than hamburgers or hot
dogs."
"How can you be so optimistic?!"
"I have faith in you."
"Well....!"
"What are you making?"
"My cousin, Skye, gave me the recipe. It's called, Tex Mex Ranch Casserole. It's
suppose to be a quick and easy meal."
"Quick and easy?"
"Yeah, but it isn't. At least not for me."
"Do you want some help?"
"That would be great! Could you hand me a mixing bowl?"
"Sure!"
"Thanks!"
"Johnny, what are you doing?!"
"I'm trying to get the stupid yolks out of the bowl!"
"Why?"
"The recipe only calls for egg whites."
"Don't use a fork!"
"Why not?!"
"You'll break the yolks."
"How else am I suppose to get them out?!"
"Try using a spoon."
"A spoon?!"
"It'll work, trust me."
"Wow! How did you know?"
"Let's just say, I know. So, what's next?"
"I need to add the cheeses and whisk them together with the egg whites; then
pour the mixture over the casserole."
"Uh, Johnny?"
"What?"
"When you whisk, tilt the bowl a little. That way you won't make a big mess."
"Oh, ok!"
"Are you almost finished?"
"I've just gotta pour this over the top of the casserole, and sprinkle some
bread crumbs on top. Then it'll be ready to pop into the oven."
"Is there anything else I can do to help?"
"Nope! I think I have it all under control."
24 hours later.....
"What was it you said? Oh, yeah, I've got it all under control. Well,
Johnny, I believe the guys think otherwise."
"Ohhhhh, Roy, don't remind me."
"We're all in the hospital because of that quick and easy meal you whipped up!"
"I said I was sorry. What else do you want from me? I'm sick too."
"I know, I know. Look, we know you didn't mean for this to happen."
"No, I didn't."
"Once they get over the fever, headache, diarrhea, stomach ache, nausea and
vomitting, I'm sure they will forgive you."
"What about you?"
"I'm not mad. I know how hard you worked on that meal."
"Really?"
"Really!"
"Thanks, Roy."
"Forget it! Let's try to get some rest."
"Salmonella food poisoning!"
"Johnny, it was a mistake. Stop beating yourself up over it."
"I know. I just hope the rest of the guys are as understanding!"
"I'm sure they will, once they feel better!"
"I swear, Roy, the recipe card didn't say anything about cooking the turkey."
"Well, it's over and done with now, so stop fretting over it."
"I'll be the laughing stock of the whole department."
"Well look on the bright side."
"Bright side? How could you possibly think there is a bright side?"
"The bright side being, Cap probably won't assign you to cook anytime soon."
"Oh! You have a point!"
"Do me a favor, Junior."
"Sure, anything."
"Next time you do cook..."
"Yeah?"
"Make hamburgers or hot dogs."
RECIPE FOR TEX MEX RANCH CASSEROLE
Serving Size : 8 Preparation Time :0:20
Categories : Mexican Casseroles
Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 lb turkey -- ground/cooked
1 10 oz can pinto beans -- cooked/mashed
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp black pepper
1 c onion -- chopped
1 1/2 c squash -- diced
1 1/2 c zucchini -- diced
1/2 c red pepper
2 1/4 ozs cheddar cheese -- shredded
2 1/4 ozs mozzarella cheese -- shredded
4 egg whites
3 tbsps bread crumbs
Preheat oven at 350. Prepare a 13 x 9" pan with cooking spray. In a mixing bowl,
combine turkey, beans, garlic powder, cumin, oregano, and pepper. Coarsely mash
beans with pastry blender; transfer to prepared pan. Prepare skillet with oil;
add onion. Cook over medium-high heat 2 minutes. Add squash, zucchini, and red
pepper; cook 3 minutes longer. Spread vegetable mixture over turkey mixture. In
a small bowl, whisk together cheeses and egg whites; pour over casserole.
Sprinkle with bread crumbs. Bake for 30 minutes, or until golden brown.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Good Explanation
by Purry and Heidi B.
"What's the matter, strike out again, Gage?"
"Shut up, Chet!"
"Hmmmm....that makes three....no wait, four!"
"You're counting?!"
"Of course!"
"I can't believe....."
"You know what your problem is?"
"Yeah, you!"
"No, I'm serious!"
"So am I!"
"Fine! If you don't want to know...."
"If it'll make you feel better, enlighten me."
"You have absolutely *no* charisma."
"What?! I think you've had too much to drink."
"It's true!"
"I'll have you know, my little black book is a lot thicker than your's!"
"That's because you can't get a girl to go out with you more than once."
"Kelly....."
"Even Roy has more personal magnetism than you."
"Roy?"
"Yeah, remember that chick that kept calling him at the station? To beat it all,
he's a married man."
"That wasn't...."
"Forget it, John. If you ever had charisma, you've lost it."
"So what are you saying, that women don't find me appealing?"
"Exactly!"
"Look, just because Roy got lucky with that chick, doesn't mean that I've lost
my touch. Are you forgetting about that tree-house fire rescue we had last week?
That little girl's mother practically threw herself at me. She even came to
visit me at the station, remember?"
"That's only because she was grateful you saved her daughter from that burning
tree. She also assumed you were the captain. Now that's a laugh!"
"And what's so funny about...."
"Oh, this is perfect!"
"What?"
"Look over there. See that really cute brunette that just walked in?"
"Yeah, so?"
"I've got an idea!"
"You've been thinking again. What have I told you about that?!"
"Ha, ha. Seriously, don't you want to get out of this rut you're having with the
opposite sex?"
"Rut, I'm not in a rut. Besides, you're not exactly making any headway tonight
yourself."
"Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, I only have your best interest at heart."
"Sure you do, Chet."
"Gage, I'm hurt. How can you think I have any ulterior motives? Man, offer to
help out a friend, and this is the thanks I get."
"Quit with the self pity and grumbling. I'm sorry I didn't trust your motives."
"Like I told you, I want to help. I know how this can wear a man down. Now, do
you want to hear my idea or not?"
"If I listen to you, will you shut up?"
"Sure!"
"What do you have in mind?"
"I have this sure fire pick up line that no woman can resist."
"Ok, lay it on me."
"Hold me, thrill me, kiss me and I can die a happy man."
"Chet, if I said that to a chick, she would definitely turn me down and probably
smack my face while doing so."
"Well it's not like you've never been slapped before."
"Now, you're pushing it."
"Oh, come on. You've never even tried that line before, what could it hurt?"
"No I haven't, but....."
"Precisely! Now go over there and try it out on that cute brunette. Look at her
sitting all by herself. I bet she's just waiting for someone to sweep her off
her feet. This is your chance."
"Chet, I'm telling you, it won't work."
"It will too! I think you're scared."
"Scared, no. Smart, yes."
"Go on, Johnny, what would it hurt? You've already been turned down four times
tonight, what's one more time? Besides, if you use my pick up line, there's no
way you can lose."
"To shut you up, I'm gonna do it."
"Great!"
"I'll be right back, I'm sure."
"Don't count yourself out yet, pal."
"We'll see."
A few minutes passed and Johnny returned
"How did it go?"
"Man, you're right. She's incredible, absolutely incredible."
"What!?"
"We're going out Tuesday night."
"What!?"
"I said....."
"I heard what you said, but how....."
"I owe it all to you, Chet. I wasn't even gonna try that stupid line, but I have
to tell ya, it worked. She started coming on to me as soon as the words were out
of my mouth."
"This wasn't suppose to be happen!"
"What's that?"
"You were suppose to strike out, again. I set you up."
"Well, Chester B., I had already figured you out. I knew when I kept getting
turned down, there had to be a good explanation."
"How?"
"The last girl I approached, well I just came out and asked her why she was
turning me down. She told me that a short, dark curly haired man with a mustache
wanted to play a trick on his buddy. He asked her and a few other girls to go
along with the scheme. Now I wonder who could have done a low down, underhanded
thing, such as that?"
"Now, Johnny, let's not get ....."
"Calm down, Chet. I want to thank you."
"Thank me?"
"Yeah, if it weren't for you, I would've probably struck out with all of those
women."
"What do you mean, probably?"
"Oh, didn't I tell you? I have a date with all five in the next few weeks. Seems
they are all interested in finding out what you're so jealous of."
"Jealous! Hell, I'm not jealous of you."
"They think you are."
"This didn't go the way I had planned."
"Guess not, but I sure am benefiting from the outcome."
"Did any of them say anything about me?"
"Yeah, yeah they did. They told me to tell you, you could learn a lot from me
since I have so much, what was the word they used, oh yeah, charisma."
"Ohhhhhhh, man!"
The End
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Understanding
Authors Notes: A response to Whisper's Dialog Challenge. Special thanks goes to
Purry for the beta read. Thanks Purry!
"There you are. I've been looking all over the station for you."
"Hmmm? Oh! I'm sorry Cap. Do you need me for anything? I'm not in trouble, am
I?"
"No, no. I guess I was just wondering where you were. It's almost time for
dinner, you know Mike's making fried chicken tonight!"
"Yeah, uh, thanks Cap. I'll be in in a few minutes."
"What's that you're doing, it looks pretty complicated?"
"I'm making a dreamcatcher. They're really not that hard to make."
"A dreamcatcher?"
"Uh-huh."
"Do you mind my asking what a dreamcatcher *is*?"
"No, of course not. Its just that...well...."
"John, I know I'm still fairly new to this station, and I haven't been able to
speak to you on a more personal level before, so I want to make something
perfectly clear to you. Okay?"
"Sure, go ahead."
"I am *not*, I repeat, *not* prejudice. Please, just give me a chance?"
"I didn't mean to make you feel bad Cap. It's just....It was kind of tough for
me where I grew up. I guess you could say I put up a few walls. You're right, I
want to apologize."
"Well, now that we've come to some sort of an understanding, are you going to
tell me what a dreamcatcher is?"
"You really want to know?"
"Yes, I do."
"According to Indian Legend, it's intended to protect the sleeper from bad
dreams. You're supposed to hang it above your bed, or at the window of your
bedroom. The good dreams pass through the hole in the center of the dreamcatcher,
and glide gently down the feathers to the person sleeping. The bad dreams get
caught up in the webbing, and perish when the first rays of the sun strike
them."
"That's amazing! Does it really work?"
"I believe it helps."
"I didn't know you've been having bad dreams."
"I'm not."
"Then why are you making a dreamcatcher? If you're having nightmares, it might
help if you talked to someone. You know my door is always open."
"Cap, really, this isn't for me. My cousin Skye owns a little shop down by the
coast that specializes in hand-crafted Native American merchandise. She's been
having a tough time lately, keeping up with the demand for dreamcatchers, so my
Aunt Rose and I have been doing what we can to help her out."
"I didn't mean to pry. I'm sorry for assuming...."
"Forget about it, Cap. You wouldn't be doing your job if you didn't worry about
the men under your command. Besides, it's nice knowing I have someone else to
talk to besides Roy. It means a lot to me."
"Thanks, John."
"Does this mean I won't get latrine duty the next time I'm late?"
"You're pushing it, Gage. So, how much does one of those sell for?"
"What, a dreamcatcher? Actually, they're pretty cheap. Only $5.99. Why?"
"I'm thinking about getting one. My wife's been having some crazy dreams lately.
Maybe it will help."
"Here. Well, aren't you gonna take it?"
"John, this is beautiful. I don't know what to say. Can you hold this for a
second."
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like I'm doing, ya Twit. I'm paying you. Can you break a
ten?"
"Cap, I'm not taking your money. It's a gift."
"But....."
"No 'buts'."
"Thanks."
"No, thank *you*."
"For what?"
"Understanding."
"Come on, Gage. Let's go eat!"
"Sounds good to me!"
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Lessons
"Hey, Johnny?"
"What do you want now, Chet?"
"I was just wondering...well...you see I...oh never mind!"
"Chet! What on earth are you trying to say?"
"It's not what I'm trying to say, it's what I'm trying to ask."
"Well then *ask* already, would ya!"
"You're not making this any easier you know."
"Chet!"
"Alright, alright! You don't have to get your panties in a bunch. Just give me a
minute."
"I'm waiting."
"You remember that really cute chick, Dawn, that you went out with last month?"
"Of course I remember her! What, do you think my brain is the size of a pea or
something?!"
"Well, actually it is kind of sma....Hey! Where are you going Gage? Johnny
wait!"
"What!"
"Look, I'm sorry okay? It's just that I have this problem."
"With Dawn?"
"Well, sort of."
"Kelly, either you do or you don't. It's that simple."
"Yeah, I guess I do. Johnny, I really like her a lot and I don't want to lose
her because of this, this problem."
"Well maybe if you told me what the problem is, then I might be able to help."
"You see, it's like this. She wants me to take lessons. Dawn said that you would
probably be more than happy to teach me."
"WHAT? She said, WHAT? There is NO WAY I'm going to give you lessons! You can
get that idea right out of your head, NOW! Besides, why would *you*, of all
people need lessons?"
"Why do you think! It's not like I'm a good rider or anything."
"I don't believe this..."
"Come on, Johnny! You know how much she loves to ride."
"CHET!"
"WHAT?"
"I can't believe you! This conversation is OVER! No, better yet, it never took
place at all...GOT IT?!"
"Geesh, Gage! I don't know why you're getting all bent out of shape for. Some
friend you are! You own three horses and a nice ranch with plenty of land to
ride on, and you won't even teach me how to ride one! Now what am I gonna tell
Dawn? Maybe I could tell her that her *ex* boyfriend is *jealous*, and refuses
to give me horseback riding lessons. And she thought you were sooo
compassionate. Yeah right! HA!"
"Horses?! You mean you, you want me to give you horseback riding lessons?"
"What kind of lessons did you think...oh, oooh...Gage! Man, you need to get your
head out of the gutter. I can't believe you would actually think I needed any
other kind of lessons concerning the female persuasion! You disappoint me,
Gage."
"Well, how was I supposed to know?! All you said was that you needed *lessons*.
I'm not a mind reader you know."
"I thought you knew me better than that."
"I do, but..."
"Just drop it, Gage."
"Chet, come on man, I'm sorry."
"Welllll...."
"Chet?"
"I'll let it slide this time, under one condition."
"And what would that be?"
"How about you teach me how to ride, *a horse*!"
"Sure thing Chester B., sure thing."
